Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Off to Fontana...

My lovely blog friends, I'm off to Clark. I just wish I could surf the net there. So much work ahead of me. Sana makapag-swimming man lang ako. (sniff) For babe: I'm gonna miss you again, my love. Mwah!

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Lost in Translation - (...and Other Memories of Cebu)

I am baaaaaccckk! Yey! I was so busy in Cebu that I was not able to surf the internet. Yes. That's how toxic my work is...as a superhero, of course. Anyhoooo, I'm satisfied with what I accomplished there. It was my second time to visit Cebu (first time was 2004) and a lot has changed since my last trip. Still lost in translation (where I had a very bad experience during my first visit, that's another blog) but I enjoyed a lot of firsts and "nths" and new memories during my 5-day stay. Let me share them with you:

(1) First time in Danao City and I love it. I stayed at El Salvador Resort. Very beautiful. I got the room facing the pool and the garden. Loved it! Kaya lang na-mumu ako nung first night (nginiig) I also had an awful nightmare where I was chopped into pieces by a serial killer. (I could taste and smell my blood. *shudders*)

(2) Had a nice session with my all-female training participants. Learned a lot of Cebuano terms. I can understand and speak the dialect! (a minute portion of it anyway)

(3) Danao had only one small mall--a "mall-ette"

(4) Had the best banana split at the resort restaurant.

(5) Japanese general manager and staff of Cebu Mitsumi thought I was Kiko Pangilinan. (blushes)

(6) First time to eat at AA's in Cebu City! Grabe, walang diet-diet talaga ito.

(7) The beauty of laundry services. Eric surprised me that I will join the project briefing session, I didn't have any costume left so I got to avail of hotel laundry services for the first time. Cool! I felt like Michael Douglas in "Wall Street" all powerful and snotty.

(8) Mom's text: I JUST WATCHED BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. IYAK AKO NANG IYAK, SOBRANG GANDA. I THOUGHT OF YOU. WATCH IT WITH JEROME. Cry naman ako at may gay appreciation session na ang mudra.

(9) And of course...a last call from Jher...every night.

I LOVE YOU, BLOG FRIENDS! (butterfly kisses to all) Hey, read my entry on infidelity ha?

That Thing Called...INFIDELITY

I remembered one of my entries here which discussed our capacity to love vis-à-vis our capacity to hate. It was a truly fascinating journey for me to be in a situation where I got to realize that I can hate as much as I can love someone. It is what Neale Donald Walsh said in his book, “Conversations with God”: Everything is just one thing, expressed in different levels. Therefore joy and sorrow are just one feeling expressed in different levels. Just like love and hate being only one emotion, the two occupying both ends of a spectrum. But there is one thing that I would like to explore right now: being unfaithful. What started this introspection despite the fact that I am currently checked in the Love Shack? (hmmm…maybe things aren’t that good in my relationship after all hence this blog...)

At the risk of sounding like Norman Bates in “Psycho”, Mother and I just ended the day by watching a pretty disturbing movie called, A PERFECT MURDER (starring Michael Douglas, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Viggo Mortinsen) which tells the story of Emily Taylor who has an affair with an artist, David Shaw. The hot affair was kept a secret until her powerful husband, Stephen Taylor, goes to David initially to discuss about buying the latter’s paintings, later letting the cat out of the bag and saying that he knows about the affair…and about David Shaw’s shady past of conning women to wipe out their savings. The story is then weaved with deceit, manipulation, self-preservation, more lies, and climactically ends with...well, a perfect murder. All stemming from one act of infidelity. This made me think…

Just like love and hate, can someone have the capacity to care for someone as much as hurt them? Can we betray someone as much as love them? If so, is this why some people forgive their partners who betrayed their trust? How far would you go if you find out that your partner cheated on you? Conversely, would you cheat on your partner? What if your partner gave you the "it-was-just-sex-it-didn't-mean-anything" defense? Would this be more "acceptable"?

Feel free to share stories and your views…personal or heard of.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! (yes, I was being sarcastic.)

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Now I know why Superman and Spiderman [temporarily] gave up their powers....

I have a secret to tell everyone...I AM A SUPERHERO...

Yes, dear blog friends. My job description is: SAVE THE WORLD. I am a mild-mannered Program Officer in dark-rimmed glasses ala Clark Kent (although more fashionable and fabulous) with a corporate-led non-government organization, who helps people help themselves...one social development project at a time. The feeling of seeing people say "you have helped us in more than one way" is priceless. My superpowers include capacity-building and technical assistance to companies and communities. My friends (who know of my superhero identity) always express their envy with the nature of my job and the travels attached to it. (cue change in musical score from grand to melancholic) ...what they do not know is that my heart is filled with loneliness...(cue tight shot of me, single tear falls down from left eye)...

I'm flying to Cebu tomorrow to assist Cebu Mitsumi Inc. in training their in-plant reproductive health educators. Why am I sad despite the thought of being in one of the most beautiful Philippine cities and kick-ass accommodation package? Being there means not being with Jher (Floor director cues audience: "aaaaaawww"). I guess when you are used to spending a lot of time with someone, you also get used to the warm thought of physical presence. Usually, we spend the weekends together at home and ride the bus to office together on Mondays. But today, we had to cut the weekend short. So, I had to maximize today by doing things together: went to the market, prepared lunch (a mean, spicy "Binagoongang Baboy"), and ate lunch. AFter lunch, we snuggled and cuddled and drifted to our afternoon siesta. Then we prepared French toast and coffee for snacks. While he prepared to leave, I got to thinking...now I know why Superman went into the Cryptonite chamber and why Spiderman left his outfit in the alley one rainy night: it is about being trapped...a feeling that we do not have a choice despite the fact that we ALWAYS have a choice--it's just that we do not want to make it. For us superheroes, it is about the greater good versus another day with my loved ones. Well, as Spiderman's grandmother said, "with great power comes great responsibilities."

As I watched Jher's bus pull away, him waving from the bus's window and me waving back, I again remembered a line from the movie, "Someone Like You", there's something very sad about watching someone leaving you. You watch him walk away...the distance between your bodies becomes bigger and bigger until there’s nothing left…but empty space. Then Spiderman's grandmother's words came back to me, "with great power comes great responsibilities."

I guess it is time to tell Jerome about my secret superhero identity...

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Turning 15 on the 16th - A Screenplay





ME browsing in Friendster in search of a date to end quest for the real thing. Was about to give up whenclicks on FURIONs profile and pic.


Hmmmthis one looks well traveled. What is that? A temple in Thailand? Wow. Been to places. Hes kinda cute pero mukhang nakasimangot. Mainitin ang ulo nito. Pero sige, lets try sending message. (TYPES) Subject Line: Patience is not my virtue.... Message (this is the original friendster message I sent):

> Struck by your profile. You seem to be very
> intelligent, smart, sarcastic, witty, and funny.
> got me at "patience is not my virtue." Hahaha!
> Forgive me for the Jerry Maguire plagerism. Ey.
> If you're interested, drop me a line:
> 09182923072. If you want to know how my quirky
> mind works, visit my blogspot:
> I encourage you not to let go of a once-in-a-
> lifetime opportunity to be part of my version
> of "The Amazing Race"....(well, that's riddled with
> ambiguity and undertones so go and treat yourself
> to the subjectivity of that line. Hahahaha!)
> Hope to hear from you soon.
> Jerome
> P.S.
> Says in your profile you're a Project Officer. NGO
> work? I'm a Program Manager. If you're with an
> NGO, then I shall lift my glass and give a toast to
> serendipity.

Okay. Sent. Lets see if he(stops and looks at pop-up message: FURION has sent you a message) Wow. That was fast. (opens message *this is his original reply*)

Subject Line: Patience is not my virtue...nor is it mine

You're wrong, I'm not intelligent, smart and
witty. But yes I am sarcastic and sometimes funny.
It took me ages to complete that profile of mine
and reading your blog just blew me away. Mukhang
matatahimik ako sayo.

But anyway, thanks for your interest. Yes I work
for an NGO as a lowly project officer. kidding.

ME (V.O.)


And yes, patience is not my virtue. So if you try
to be all smart alecky and witty and madaldal to
me I will just walk away. LOL

ME (V.O.)

(giggles)and witty!

So are you up to it? 09178137723 is my contact

ME (V.O.)

Oh...my...God!!! He gave his number. *kilig*

I'd prefer that you text or call me
first. Makes me feel special in a autistic kind
of way. Hahahah

Hey, we have the same first name btw.



ME (V.O.)

And his name is also Jerome! Now I have to call this guy. (dials number)

JEROME (on the other line)




Uy, nice voice! (speaks) Hello, Jerome? This is Jerome.


Wow! Ang bilis naman. Nasa office ka ba?


Nope. Internet shop. Working away from the office.




(laughs and tucks imaginary hair behind ear)

Di masyado(laughs again)


Tawa ka nang tawa dyan.


Of course! Its because Im a happy person.


So, you wanna meet up?




Tuesday? (that was November 12, 2004)


I love Tuesdays. (laughs again) Starbucks in Intramuros?


Thats fine. Ill see you then.


Okay. (smiles in kilig) Bye!


Bye. (click)


(incessantly smiling after ending call)


Ah, yes. He got me at hello”—in query form. Since then we are already on our 15th month and it has been one hell and heaven of a ride. But everyday is just worth it. I love loving him. I love the thought that we can argue and debate on things (and hope that it wont escalate into a fight). I love the fact that he never steps back on our game of intellectual tennis, standing his ground and matches up with me 100%. Some couples may find this difficult to manage but for me, its why we work. I love the fact that we are opposites (on my part, surprised would be more appropriate since he turns out to be the spitting image of the exact opposite of my ideal partner). He is a left-brainer and I am more of the right hemisphere. Hes a planner and I am the spontaneous one (oh dear. This blog wont be able to accommodate the interesting times we have argued about the benefits of planning and the romantic nature of spontaneity. I remember the classic ferry incident. (cue video of ME and JEROME taking a stroll by the seawall)


(jumps and claps in glee at the sight of the Manila Bay public ferry)

Oh my God, babe! Lets take the ferry

ME/JEROME (blurts out in unison)

its gonna be romantic/its expensive

CUE TIGHT SHOT OF ME and JEROME looking at each otherwaiting for a detailed discussion about practicality versus romance to ensue.

Yup. Thats how we arethe north and south pole. But I guess in diversity lies beauty. Its a simple equation of one plus one of which the result is two different people trying to be one as a couple. (nice line, gives myself pat on the back) Sigh. I love how he keeps me up on my toes making every single day a new challenge; a new quest; a new adventure.

I guess for someone like me who is just starting to build a relationship (for the Nth time), it is really about the real deal more than the proverbial right one. It is about the real situations, the real fights, the real kiss-and-make-ups that makes it right for both of youif not perfect. Whether it would entail sacrifices, big or small ones, it would still be perfect in our own standards. As long as the undying love is there and that he continues to be my true north and the yin to my yang, it will transcend flaws and shortcomings making perfection a journey and not a destination.

More years, babe! Mmmmmwaaaah!


This entry is an offshoot of a two-day debacle over our difference of opinion about Valentines Day. I said V-Day is a celebration of love. He said it is a machinery created by capitalist-minded entrepreneurs, commercializing it to put pressure on people (dictate as he put it) to make their loved ones feel more special in turn churning the money machine, giving them profits. (Final note on this issue not subject to retort: Uuuugh)

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Let Me Take You Back to My High School Yester-years

I am excited that I’m doing this entry! I have lots of great high school memories and I am just going to choose my most favorite ones. As a backgrounder, I went to a public school in Carmona, Cavite, the Carmona National High School. What’s interesting here was, I came from a private Catholic school, stopped for a year due to financial constraints (actually, dahil lang sa kaartehan dahil gusto ko private pa rin at sa bias against public schools). Anyway, let the trip down memory lane begin!

First day in school…my first year in high school. Flag ceremony, I wore a clean polo shirt, with sando, khaki pants, white socks, black shoes. I looked around, everyone was staring at me. 90% were wearing white T-shirts, khaki pants, and slippers. (shocked to death akez!). CUT TO: RECESS. I was seated in front 5th seat (letter D kasi ako). Took out my lunch box with peanut butter sandwich and thermos with Milo. As I was about to devour my baon, I stopped, everyone was staring at me…creepy.

I ran for student council position from 1st to 4th year, I never won. To this day, I wonder why.

To compensate for my lack of political career, I involved myself in the school paper which has a bi-annual circulation. I remember being the youngest Associate Editor in the history of “The Limelight”. I also remember that all of my articles were threatened to be censored because of its controversial or alleged offensive content. Here are some of those controversial articles:

Beware of the “F” Syndrome – talked about this speech phenomena where the “P” is being pronounced as “F”. Daming teacher nag-react, pinatawag ako ng principal

To Jump or Not to Jump: Fraternity as Brotherhood? – It was the height of frat wars between Tau Gamma Phi and AKRho and I went on a mission to explore the true nature of fraternities by interviewing the Cavite Chapter Masters of said fraternities. It was a ballsy, kick-ass article. Pinatawag ako ng principal…at na-elevate sa district office!

Exploring “Paligawang Matanda” – My high school tropa went to this dead waterfall called “Paligawang Matanda” after CAT one Sunday noon. It was written travelogue style and all students went ga-ga over the place. It somewhat started an urban legend that really made everyone curious and the school found complaints coming in from parents because their children went to the same place. Pinatawag ulit ako ng principal…shet.

“Where is Councilor Toot-toot’s Right Hand?” – It was the last quarter of 1990. We watched a cortege of dumptrucks traverse the national highway (leaving an unbearable stench that one can possibly stomach) on their way to the sanitary landfill which the townsfolk of Carmona protested against…but was approved…by no less than Councilor Toot-toot who, six months ago, exclaimed in a booming voice during the public hearing, KAPAG NA-APRUBAHAN ANG SANITARY LANDFILL SA CARMONA, IPAPUPUTOL KO ANG KANANG KAMAY KO!!! So, since I was Editor-in-chief then, all of us agreed to take the same photo which appeared in the previous issue where he is waving his right hand emphasizing his promise…now it was splashed with a banner headline, “Where is Councilor Toot-toot’s Right Hand?” Pinatawag ako ng principal before na-release ang papel. Syempre pinaglaban “freedom of expression” and “campus journalism act” chuva. Go. Print. After nag-circulate, the next day, principal ulit ako…pinasundo ang adviser namin, the principal, at ako…for a meeting with the Mayor and Councilor Toot-toot. Ang saya! AAAHHH! THOSE WERE THE DAYS!

I won the Provincial Championship on Spelling and Essay Writing, 3rd year and 4th year respectively. What’s more memorable was that I didn’t get the chance to be awarded because of the coup d’ etat and Sangley Point bombings. Ang ganda…

I was the official timekeeper sa CAT. Bago mag-assemble para sa uwian, center stage ako sabay sigaw ng: ATTENTION IN THE AREA! ATTENTION IN THE AREA! THE TIME IN THE PHILIPPINES INCLUDING SABAH AND VIETNAM IS 1200 HOURS…STANDARD TIME, SIR! (Akala nyo, “Darna!” ang sinisigaw ko noh…)

Ang walang kamatayang ACQUAINTANCE PARTY sa plaza ng Carmona every year!!!! Susko, napatawa ako nang maalala ko. Security measure installed was chicken wire fence...this was during the height of frat wars ha? Sobrang naalala ko pa ang mga songs: Shalamar’s “A Night to Remember”, Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” (asus), The Jets “Rocket 2 U”, “Life Dance”, “Everybody Walk the Dinosaur”, “Supersonic”, “Pop Goes The World” (na kailangan ang costume ay may mga naka-pin na medal), "Swiss Boy", "Don't Cry", "Ring My Bell", "Brother Louie", "Tarzan Boy", "Electric Youth" ni Debbie Gibson at ang mga pang-sweet na “Always” ng Atlantic Starr, “Only You-Starlight Express Medley”, at “Changes in My Life”…bisyo na tooooo!

Of course, we would not be able to dance like pros during the Acquaintance Parties and J.S. Proms if it were not for…(cue fanfare) The Wea Dancers, The Vicor Dancers, and The Octo Arts Dancers!!!! Hahahaha! The costumes!

I was a member of our dance troupe. My most memorable performance was when we danced the “singkil”. Syempre ako ang prinsipe. (although akala ko either ako ang prinsesa o ang taga-payong. Hahahaha!)

Junior Prom was a blast. Saan pa ginanap eh di sa plaza ng Carmona! I remember that day very well. 3rd year girls were supposed to wear peach gowns and senior girls wore pink. Remember the gowns of Manilyn Reynes and Kristina Paner in That’s Entertainment? The fluffy and puffy sleeves and ball gown skirts with flat closed white shoes??? Ganun. At naglalakad lang sa kalye kasi on the way to the plaza kasi nga malapit lang! Hahahaha! Ang mga girlash heavily made up with those “Plinky Recto” tendrils and tissed bangs secured by loads of spray net! Hahahahaha! Kaloka.

Graduation. I graduated valedictorian and made history in the NCEE. (yup. I had to throw that in…)

I had a super fun time! Grabe talaga ito. I recommend it to everyone. I feel better!

Monday, February 06, 2006

Damn! I Think My Boyfriend is Straight!

Eve of my birthday. Best friend, Ely, came with his wife, Ann, Honorary National Geographic Awardee, Mel, and Laguna fag hag, Joy came armed with lovely Goldilocks cake as birthday gift. After dinner, Ely bought Gran Matador to be consumed while watching WWF Raw. I personally don’t like what I call "the most absurd theatrical production of all time" because it insults my intelligence that a lot of people are suckered into believing that what they do is a sport. Sure they get hurt (I think) and sometimes bleed but puh-leeeaaaassse! Anyway, to my surprise, Boyfriend was into it and even was cheering with Ely and Mel! The testosterone-charged three chugged down shots of Gran Ma and feasted on Boy Bawang while raving about wrestlers and their killer moves. Jerome educated me and walked me through while I sat with the “wives” who patiently waited for their husbands finish having their fun. The scene was taken straight out of a 16th century portrait…men with cigars talking about “man” stuff while the ladies have their tea in their petticoats engaging in chatter about silver, china, draperies, and gardening…desperately trying to be supportive of their husbands. (sighs) I mustered some strength to digest names like Randy Ortonn, Muhammad Hussein (who was so cute!), John Cena (who's even cuter!), Booker T, The Big Show, Hurricane, Undertaker, and Chris Benoit. Boyfriend even walked me through their killer moves, i.e., the Pedigree, RKO, chokeslam, the Figure Four, etc. But...okay, okay. I’m gonna play supportive and involved “girlfriend”…


…watches Royal Rumble…

…finds myself rolling eyes almost every minute…

…gives up…

…returns to the “wives table” (and drools over John Cena and Muhammad Hussein *kilig*)…

…glances at boyfriend high-fiving with my straight friends…


…boyfriend’s very techie, leaves clothes in a pile, a left-brainer, loves gadgets, crazy about cars, invests on T3 magazine, loves basketball and routes for Ginebra…

…cloud callout appears: “Shet! I think my boyfriend’s straight!”

Birthday Post to My Birthday Boy

Ang bilis ng panahon. Dalawang taon na pala kaming nagdidiwang ng espesyal na araw na ito na magkasama.

Masaya. Kung tutuusin hindi ako ang ka date niya ngayon, kundi ang pamilya syempre. Pero mas masaya kasi gumising siya na ako ang katabi. Quesehodang hindi pa kami naghihilamos o nagmumumog. Ang mahalaga, ako ang una niyang makita pag-gising nya.

Maligayang kaarawan mahal ko. Ito lang muna ang tanging maibibigay ko sa iyo sa araw na ito, at ang walang kapantay na pagmamahal sa bawat sandali, minuto, araw, buwan at mga susunod pang taon.

Date tayo bukas ha? Ako taya. :-)