Thursday, April 20, 2006

"I have a fear of...." - (A Blog About Phobias)

There has been a lax use of the term “phobia”. Clinically, a phobia is characterized by an irrational fear of something, associated with shortness of breath, dizziness, palpitation, sweating, and trembling of the muscles. Therefore, when you are just plain afraid of the dark it does not mean you already have a phobia. Okay, I am stalling with the medical mumbo-jumbo. I am going to admit to the entire blog nation that as embarrassing as it may seem due to the fact that I am a grown man, I am terrified of COCKROACHES…(lets out a bloodcurdling scream)



Oh, my loves. Last Holy Thursday, I had a friggin’ panic attack. Details are as follows and are best visualized by imagining me doing a voice-over like how it’s done in old detective movies (while camera slowly zooms in from a bird’s eye view crane shot). DISSOLVE TO:

I was comfortably plopped on my favorite couch watching SA NGALAN NG ANAK on channel 7, Oishi Wasabi Flavor and Coke conveniently within my reach. I was in the middle of sobbing my guts out from the post-suicide sequence of Connie Reyes’ character when suddenly a familiar voice boomed from the deep recesses of our house. Distracted, I looked up and exclaimed, “God, is that you?” (its holy week, its possible.). “Anong God, God??? Magsaing ka na!”, Mother shouted. Disappointed, I unwillingly stomped like a 5-year old on my way to the kitchen. Mumbling while giving the rice a wash, when from my peripheral vision, I saw something moving. I looked down and I saw a swarm…yes, SWARM of cockroaches came out of the drainage and crawled on my left foot. I ran out of the kitchen as fast as I could. I found myself gasping for air, my heart was racing, my hands and knees were trembling, and I was profusely building a sweat. I picked up the phone and called Jher. It was a scene straight out of “An Eye for An Eye”, I wasn’t able to talk, I was just breathing. Jher on the other hand kept on asking what happened. I finally exclaimed…”I got attacked by (empathic pause) COCKROACHES!” (cue eerie musical score)

Uuuh! (shudders) Reminiscing that awful, icky moment just made me nauseous (picking the right cockroach pic for this entry was a dreadful experience). Other cockroach events are as follows:


Cockroach Experience 1
I woke up one night, parched. So I went to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. Half-awake and half-through drinking water when from out of nowhere, this cockroach fluttered towards me. As a reflex action, I threw the glass. The cockroach lived…the glass died, I mean, shattered into pieces.

Cockroach Experience 2

It was one of those dream-filled sleeps. In my dream, a hand was caressing my cheek. Then, it felt like it was pinching me. It got more and more painful. So I woke up. There was a cockroach on my f*%#&@ cheek! After flicking it off my cheek, I spent 3 hours hunting for the damn critter until I finally annihilated it beyond recognition which made me say: “IT’S DEAD. I CAN NOW GO BACK TO SLEEP.”

Feel free to share your cockroach horror stories or irrational fears that you have. Yuck.

10 Comments:

At 8:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahaha..funny story! i like the "god is that you?" part...natawa ako dun! i cant blame you for having this fear, i myself am terrified of cockroaches (specially the flying type!) and spiders!
i am also scared of big rattling container vans, i really get the shivers and and start hyperventilating when i see one on the road. this is one reason why i dont think i could ever drive!

 
At 2:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm scared of dogs.

Great entry! Definitely one of my faves from your blog. ;)

 
At 11:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm scared of small frogs, the kind that jumps on you and sticks on your skin. we call it manwit in ilonggo, don't know what it's called in tagalog. basta! i go nuts when i see one. i'm scared that it will jump on me and stick on my skin. yikes! just thinking about it gives me the shivers!

 
At 11:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Takot ako sa dati kong nobya. Naging parang cockroach kasi.

 
At 1:02 PM, Blogger mai said...

ew eW EW ! ! !
dyou know what I used to be scared of when I was a child???

...
..
.

kyOwen.

hehehehe! sutil kasi e! I remember one time, I was calmly walking somewhere in our house and kyOwen appears somwhere close behind me and says,"Hi Mimay!^_^" And I just turned around and screamed, "Yaaaah!!! I hate you!!!" Sabay takbo sa kwarto nila nanay para magsumbong.:P aaaaah, those were the days...^_^d

 
At 2:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm really afraid of rats. Grabe to death ang pagkatakot ko. Alam mo bang may very embarrassing experience ako with it. It happened in 1993, pagkauwi namin ni hubby sa house ay punta agad ako sa CR, biglang may isang malaki-laking daga na nahulog sa kisame (may butas pala). Takbo ako at sigaw nang sigaw na umakyat sa center table na nasa sala namin. Iyong mga neighbors naming lalake ay nagtakbuhan sa bahay dahil akala kung ano na ang nangyari sa amin. Sa harap nila ay naihi ako na nasa ibabaw ng center table (kakahiya talaga), siguro dahil sa talagang nawiwiwi na ako at sa sobrang takot sa daga. Nandidiri talaga ako sa daga.

 
At 5:35 PM, Blogger Being Jerome Daclison said...

mai - you? was scared of owen? but your kya owen is so adorable...

anonymous - thanks anonymous for dropping by. alam mo ba na gusto ko ang daga. wag lang yung nahuhulog bastabasta kasi nakakagulat talaga di ba? hahahaha!

 
At 6:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

:|...
adorable...
no. he really wasn't. I still get nightmares...T_T

dyowk onli.:P

 
At 10:49 PM, Blogger duke said...

hehehe. i hate cockroaches too! shet talaga nung naliligo ako sa banyo tapos lumipad yung ipis sa likod ko. watdapak! in bio160 we were asked to catch our own cockroaches only to pin them on a wax plate for dissection to identify the foregut, midgut and hindgut. pakingshet!

thanks for dropping by my blog. hope to see you often. :)

 
At 1:36 AM, Anonymous Karrien said...

I can totally relate to your fears. I feel the same way about spiders. I learned to control my fears through techniques I learned from http://onlineceucredit.com/edu/social-work-ceus-pho. I hope this is helpful!

 

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